By John Reddin

"Bluey" O'Toole had come out of the West
Near the border in old New South Wales
He had come to the town to get Shawn of his locks
And to tell us a few of his tales

He'd been living alone for so long that it seems
That he'd lost track of modern inventions
And now that he's seen all the progress we've made
He was starting to change his intentions

All he wanted to do, for a shilling or two
Was to have a haircut and a shave
But he wasn't aware that the cut of his hair
Would require him to be very brave

You see, Bluey had never been into a shop
For a haircut the whole of his life
And the moment of truth was to scare him so much
That he thought he was losing his life

When the hairdresser came, Bluey turned and he said
"I'm not having no Sheila touch me!"
Get a Bullocky bloke with a basin and shears
Or I won't pay me haircuttin' fee"

Well "Davo" just happened along at the time
And he offered to cut Bluey's locks
He'd been squelching around in the rain in his boots
So he walked 'round the store in his socks

"Come on Bluey, come here, stick your head in the trough
And we'll wash all the grime from your hair"
Seemed a reasoned request thought our man from the West
So he went and sat down in the chair

Davo started to wash all the grit and the grime
That had been there through thick and through thin
And though we didn't know we were getting a show
We all guessed when we saw Davo grin

"Holy bloody b'jeez" said Dave at the tap
"What the hell have we got goin' here?
There's a spider or two and somethin' that's blue"
Then he squirted the hose in "Blue's" ear

Well Bluey jumped up and before we could say
That the whole thing's a bit of a plot
His manner got terse, and he started to curse
"The water is too bloody hot!"

He ran from the shop to his trusty old van
And left in a huge cloud of dust
With a scowl and a sneer, and a pain in his ear
Nevermore a hairdresser to trust


There's a story they tell of a man in the West
Whose head is as bald as his bum
And all because Davo and some of his mates
Were having a good bit of fun.